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sean penn anti-ode (or “wow, i am a hater”)

09/02/12 , , , ,

before we begin, let’s run through some of my stream-of-posting for this one:

– i started with: “the idea of an anti-ode amused me because it’s different and because my friends are haters.”

– since the word “hater” is readily associated with jealousy and negativity, i wanted to follow-up with my working definition: “by hater, i mean one who finds pleasure in playfully ripping a person and/or something that the person loves (hometown, favorite team, etc.) without any malicious intent.”

– *let it marinate*

– then i thought “hmm that sounds like me.”  it’s a funny epiphany since some of my friends have called me a hater for years and i thought they were crazy.  looking back, sometimes they were wrong (mistaking “hate” for genuine dislike) but in some cases, yeah, they might’ve been right.

so special apologies to jose (the biggest hater i know) and leslie (who once dubbed me “the lebron james of hate”).  yes, denial is helluva drug *rick james voice* and yes, i am a hater.

anywho, back to the regularly scheduled post…

the idea of an anti-ode amused me because it’s different and because my friends & i are haters.  in the poem below (via the poetry foundation), the object of dean young‘s animosity is actor sean penn.  not sure if my hater definition fits mr. young here or if there was real venom behind what he put in the poem.  i think that uncertainty though adds to the experience.

if you were to write an anti-ode, who or what would it be about?


Sean Penn Anti-Ode
by Dean Young

Must Sean Penn always look like he’s squeezing
the last drops out of a sponge and the sponge
is his face? Even the back of his head grimaces.
Just the pressure in his little finger alone
could kill a gorilla. Remember that kid
whose whole trick was forcing blood into his head
until he looked like the universe’s own cherry bomb
so he’d get the first whack at the piñata?
He’s grown up to straighten us all out
about weapons of mass destruction
but whatever you do, don’t ding his car door with yours.
Don’t ask about his girlfriend’s cat.
Somewhere a garbage truck beeps backing up
and in these circumstances counts as a triumph of sanity.
Sleet in the face, no toilet paper,
regrets over an argument, not investing wisely,
internment of the crazy mother, mistreatment
of laboratory animals.
Life, my friends, is ordinary crap.
Pineapple slices on tutu-wearing toothpicks.
Those puke bags in the seatback you might need.
The second DVD only the witlessly bored watch.
Some architectural details about Batman’s cape.
Music videos about hairdos, tattoos, implants and bling.
The crew cracking up over some actor’s flub.


What do you think?

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::slow clap::

::standing o::

i’m so proud of you



1 notes

  1. imagine getting this in the mail | atolemdro reblogged this and added:

    […] related: sean penn anti-ode (or “wow, i am a hater”) […]

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